Stopping the Self-Criticism, Slowing Down & Enjoying the ‘Now’.

19th February 2018

After realizing that I wanted more posts on my blog to have a diary-entree vibe to them (shorter, personal and more fun to read), what better way to start than to talk about the complete 180 my mindset has had in 2018. I’ve stopped putting unnecessary pressure on myself and started to live my life. I’m enjoying the ‘now’ alongside working towards dreams…something that, this time 6 months ago, I could never see myself doing.

I touched upon the how 2017 went for me in my 2018 New Year Resolution post, where the majority of you could tell…it wasn’t my fave of all the years I’ve lived.


There was one concrete piece of positivity I could take from that post; something had to change to make me a happier person. I could change my lifestyle, my career, the tidiness of my room, the things I eat, whether I bite my nails or not etc. But for all these factors to indeed, change, big or small, there was one thing that needed to be done first. I HAD to change my mindset.


Reflecting on the type of head I had on my 22 year old shoulders, I can safely say that I was impatient which lead to a viscous cycle. Let me explain…I wanted everything to happen then and there, and couldn’t understand\get frustrated when it didn’t. Admittedly, I’m still an impatient person, but I’ve learnt to avoid the damaging, snowballing thought process of things not happening ‘fast enough’.

When certain aspects didn’t go my way, I started to overanalyze, criticise and doubt myself to work out what I did ‘wrong’. The 3 main ingredients in becoming demotivated and a right old negative nelly. It was a hugely toxic and abusive mindset to be in. If this is sounding familiar to your current mindset, please carry on reading as I want you to join me on the other side!


The destructive mindset towards the end of the year focussed mainly on a) being successful in my career b) also being successful with my blog & youtube c) moving in with matt (boyfriend) and starting our lives together which includes cats, comfy furniture and big holidays away. 3 HUGE DREAMS that can take YEARS to become a reality. But 2017 me couldn’t quite understand this and questioned (DAILY) why none of this was happening to me. What was I doing wrong? What wasn’t I doing enough of? Was my best not good enough? WILL I EVER MOVE OUT OF MY CHILDHOOD HOME?

All very ridiculous & damaging things to be questioning about myself, and I’m saying that in hindsight. At the time, it was all very real and extremely upsetting to me. So much so, that my life would pause, be put on hold almost. I didn’t want to go out and enjoy myself because I could be working towards another brand collab at home, editing or shooting. I didn’t want to get a gym membership because that money could go towards a new camera or renting a flat with matt. I didn’t want to watch everything on the Trending Now list on Netflix – correction – I DID want to, I REALLY wanted to, but that time could’ve been spent on something more ‘efficient’.

I basically wasn’t living my life due to the pressure I was putting on myself. No me time, no slowing down. Totally unhealthy.


But after redirecting my career and starting the new year like turning the first page of a crisp new Pukka Pad (with all the tabs/seperators ofc), I’ve started to stop, slow down and enjoy the ‘now’. I’ve accepted that good things take time and decided to live my life in the meantime. This might seem like an obvious way to be to some of you, but for someone who has spent years ~ all the way through school ~ piling endless amounts of pressure and damaging thoughts onto themselves, this was a bloody revelation.


So that brings us to now and how I’m going about my every day life. I’m going out and enjoying myself, I’ve spent money on a membership and joined the gym ~ which has been a dream for my wellbeing and overall state of mind ~ and most importantly, I’m giving myself some me time. I’m in a good place and needed to document how I’ve done a 180 in the way I think.


Let me know if this is all too familiar, if you’re currently putting pressure on yourself or if you’re in the same place as me. Would be great to know your thoughts!



19 responses to “Stopping the Self-Criticism, Slowing Down & Enjoying the ‘Now’.”

  1. so trueeee! this post is so relatable, we need to focus on the now and stop being so self deprecating!
    I just did a post about ‘picking yourself up’, hopefully you can relate too!

  2. Can completely relate and think I’m in the same head space you where in, I want to move out and I want it to happen tomorrow kinda thing. It’s comforting to read that I’m not the only one like this and going to take it down a couple of notches thanks to this post!
    On another note your top, I tried this on ages ago and didn’t buy it and you’ve made me totally regret it, haha! Great snaps xx

    • lexilife says:

      Aw thank you Lucy. I’m so sorry it’s taken me a while to get back to you – I HATE leaving it this long so PLZ forgive me! Thanks so much for having a read and leaving a cheeky comment for me to read. You’re DEFFO not the only one wanting your life to unfold before your very eyes in the space of like a week LOL. We’ve just gotta battle on together and take it as it comes! (annoyingly!!). xx

  3. Loved this! I’m exactly the same and put SO much pressure on myself, and with an impatient head on me too if I get something in my head and try to make it happen I’m like… ermmm so why is it not happening right now? So I totally get you! I think it’s harder nowadays too, because we see loads of peoples ‘successful’ lives on social media which makes us doubt our own path. Happiness is definitely the biggest success you could ever have though, so if you’re unhappy in the path towards what you think will make you happy, I guess there’s no point? Defo best to just take a step back and enjoy the here and now, rather than placing your happiness on certain events! Well said gal 👏🏼 (Lol did not mean for my comment to be that long)

    • lexilife says:

      AW babe thanks so much for having a read and leaving this comment. Long comments are my fave. I think we’re SO similar in that respect where we’re like wtf why isn’t my life sorting itself out?? You’re so right though, happiness first – always! Thanks so much hunn xxx

  4. That photo of you in front of the greenery on the house is stunning! Love your style! I’m also glad you’re starting to enjoy life <3 I feel like it's really hard not to compare yourself to everyone else, but just celebrate each of your achievements and you'll get there <3

    Katie |

    • lexilife says:

      Hi Katie, thanks so much for your lovely comment! I’m so sorry it’s taken me a while to reply, (hate leaving it this long!). Thank you though, it really does mean a lot!! Comparisons are SO hard not to do right? x

  5. That first picture of you is gorgeous! I’m loving the jacket.

  6. m4gical says:

    This is exactly what I needed, I can only imagine how free you feel now x x

  7. Luxestyle says:

    I know exactly what you mean – I’m so impatient and I’m terrible for wanting everything to happen straight away. I’ve learnt that the best way to happiness and to reduce stress is to enjoy the journey x

    Jenny | Luxestyle

    • lexilife says:

      Being impatient can be agonizing can’t it! Especially when there’s people around you who are a lot calmer and taking things in their stride – I need me some of that! Great advice though, thank you xxx

  8. Jess Athorn says:

    This is exactly the change in mindset I’m going through at the moment; I’ve handed in my notice to the job that’s made me so unhappy and I’m taking the pressure off myself to be ‘perfect’ all the time. It’s so reassuring to see that I’m not the only person who had to go through this and I can’t wait to be in the positive place you are right now. Thanks for the great post and I can’t wait to see more of these diary entry type posts! Xx

    • lexilife says:

      Oh Jess you are definitely not alone! So sorry it took me until now to read and reply to your comment but congrats on handing in your notice EEK! Your time will come, perhaps with a new job where you can be 100% you/comfortable. Thanks so much for reading – another diary entree post coming soon! xxx

  9. This post is so relatable! I’ve only just turned 22 and I have so much pressure career wise, and I keep thinking why is nothing going my way. But we definitely need to take time and enjoy living in the moment. Your 20’s are there for you to have fun and not worry about anything xx

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